The first time was a complete shock for me and I could tell he felt awkward. I just kept communication light and kept my distance. In the last week, he has gone out of his way to come over and speak to me -still small talk, no referrals to what we shared but the way he looked at me across the room made me think he still felt something. And I realize I am deceiving my husband again now as I have not told him this person has surfaced again. So my question really is, can we go back to being friends — or is the fact that we have now crossed the line mean that this is realistically impossible.
Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Home Affairs and Jealousy Staying friends after an affair? Affairs and Jealousy. Img Source: theswexperts. The physical distance helped her to break ties with her ex and she had little interest in rekindling them. Sherrie says she is grateful that in both cases, she was able to leave the marriages without children.
But in the second marriage, she did have a stepson with whom she had become very close. Losing him was one of the hardest parts of the divorce, she says. Although she still has a distant relationship with the younger of her two stepsons, she is grateful that she does not have to maintain a relationship with their father.
The friendships that do survive are rare, but they do exist, says Kirshenbaum. Asking whether a relationship can survive an affair is like asking whether a car can survive a crash.
In the case of an affair, it depends on who the people are in the marriage and on the marriage itself. For things to get better you need the following ingredients: The cheated-on person needs to have a talent for forgiveness. There need to be real strengths in the marriage, whatever the weaknesses. And the cheater has to have a real desire to stay in the marriage and a willingness to do what it takes to heal the hurts. Healing the hurts is an ordeal. But if the cheater is willing to go through it and his partner has a capacity to forgive, then the friendship can not only survive but thrive.
For Ekroth, his profession may have helped him move toward forgiveness. And that his ex-wife was merely acting out in the only way she could at the time. Additionally, she understood his pain. That was a crucial part of forgiveness. Still, Ekroth knows he is in the minority. In his practice, he saw hundreds of unhappy couples and estimates that he may have only helped roughly 50 percent reach forgiveness.
But for him, forgiveness was part of what has ultimately helped him heal. We are bigger than just being angry forever. Click here to read more stories about infidelity. Can You Be Friends after the Affair? Email: [email protected]. Twitter: geoffsteurer. Instagram: geoffsteurer. Facebook: facebook. Copyright St. George News, SaintGeorgeUtah. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in St.
He specializes in working with couples who want to rebuild their relationships from crisis to connection. He specializes in working with individuals and couples dealing with the impact of sexual betrayal. He has been married to his wife, Jody, since and they are the parents of four children. Follow him on Instagram and Facebook. The opinions stated in this article are Steurer's own and may not be representative of St.
Would you like to have the day's news stories delivered right to your inbox every evening? Enter your email below to start! Your stupidity and ignorance has no bounds does it! Deja vu, women have the uncanny ability to make you believe the most outrageous lies, even when looking straight down the barrel of a smoking gun. Denial can obscure the facts leaving you a hapless victim at the mercy of uncontrollable circumstances.
Depending on other signals fighting, distance, lack of intimacy. She could definitely be on the way out. I really have to wonder just what it will take for the guy in this article to actually grow a set! How many times are you gonna let your wife and her boyfriend put the horns on you, before you wise up and kick her out?
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Relationship Connection: My husband wants to openly love another woman.
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