It's this kind of gentle reassurance and basic, truthful information that most successfully assuages a toddler's anxiety. If a child senses that you're not afraid, chances are she'll follow suit. At this age it's also OK to expose her to something she fears; some contact with it, in a controlled setting with you right next to her, will probably help. If she's afraid of loud noises, for example, don't bend over backward to avoid noisy places.
Explain where the sound comes from, keeping it short and simple. Why are preschoolers afraid of monsters? They have a better awareness of the world's dangers, coupled with a big imagination. But it's more satisfying for a child to think it's something scary than not to be able to understand it," says Piacentini. Besides, preschoolers more so than toddlers realize they can be hurt by things. Kids also overhear adults talking and trade information with friends.
Even though they may not understand everything they hear, they can be scared of it all the same. Nick Stanger, a 5-year-old in Lakeville, Minnesota, worries that he'll be sent to jail: His dad, John, is a police officer, and Nick knows that one of the things his dad does is put bad people behind bars. John has explained that there's a difference between criminals and misbehaving preschoolers, but the jail-time fear still lingers a bit.
It's important to try to understand what your child is really afraid of. If he tells you he's frightened of lightning, for instance, don't automatically try to reassure him by saying that he's not going to get hit -- what freaks him out may be the accompanying sound of thunder or the way the flashes of light make scary shadows on his wall. Then try to give him coping mechanisms, such as doing an activity that will distract him or singing a special song whenever he hears thunderclaps.
The challenge is to straddle the line between reacting and overreacting to a child's fears. While you shouldn't dismiss or mock a fear, say experts, overindulgence can make your child feel that there really is something to be scared about. Too many checks under the bed for monsters, for example, may prompt him to wonder, "Why is Dad looking so many times?
Maybe there is something there. You may think that by this age your child has outgrown her first terrors, but some hang on. She may still be afraid of the dark or monsters though now it's related to something scary she's seen on TV rather than some unknown bogeyman that lurks only in her imagination.
Kids are also becoming more concerned that something bad could happen to their parents. Your child may be afraid you'll be hurt in a specific way, such as a car accident, or she may just have a vague worry that she'll lose you. When children first hear about death, they tend to think it's reversible.
As its permanence dawns on them, many feel anxious not just about you but about dying themselves. Trauma can have a serious effect on babies and toddlers. Many people wrongly believe that babies do not notice or remember traumatic events. In fact, anything that affects older children and adults in a family can also affect a baby. Traumatic and life-threatening events may include incidents such as car accidents, bushfires, sudden illness, traumatic death in the family, crime, abuse or violence in the community.
Trauma can seriously disrupt important aspects of child development that occur before the age of three years. These may include bonding with parents, as well as foundational development in the areas of language, mobility, physical and social skills and managing emotions.
Providing support to help the family rebuild a safe, secure and nurturing home will help the baby or toddler recover. Babies and toddlers are very helpless and depend on their family and parents for a sense of safety and security. They need emotional nurturing, through loving and reassuring interactions, and help with coping in an ongoing and consistent way. This is how babies and toddlers develop and grow.
During their early months and years, children are very sensitive to:. If any of these things are happening, it is important to think about the effect on the baby. If the family or primary carer is affected, the baby is probably also affected.
When babies or toddlers are exposed to life-threatening or traumatic events, they become very scared — just like anybody else. Some common reactions may include:. Structure, predictability and nurturing are key to helping a baby or toddler who has been traumatised. There are a number of things parents and carers can do to help their baby or toddler cope with and recover from trauma.
Development may slow down for a while and then move forward again. It can sometimes be difficult to work out if this is just one of those times or whether something more serious is happening. It may help to seek professional advice if:. There is increasing evidence to suggest that the younger a child, the more serious the post-traumatic problems. Actively seeking help and advice is important.
An easy solution to this is carrying dark Post-Its to cover up the sensors on the wall. A small cloth such as a burp rag or a cloth diaper can be used to cover the sensor on the plumbing. Slowly, the child will get over the fear of these auto toilet flushes if mom explains and shows how the sensors work.
There may be times when it's difficult to tell the difference between a manual and automatic toilet, but the child may definitely get over it with time. Some babies, as young as 7 to 8 months old, may get wary or terrified of men with facial hair. Some babies may be afraid of other men with beards even when the father has a beard.
Even a moustache can sometimes scare a few babies. The man with a beard could be a granddad, too. Initially, it may seem a bit strange to a mother and it may also take a while to identify the reason of baby being comfortable around women, but not some men. Just like other fears, this fear will also fade away with time.
Interestingly, according to a study published by Oxford Journal of Behavioral Ecology, beards make men less attractive, and men who have one have been perceived as threatening. So it isn't unusual that a bearded man could appear very intimidating to a child. Also, even in our story books, villains and monsters are mostly illustrated as bearded huge men. It could come as a surprise on a rainy day when the toddler suddenly starts screaming looking at the windshield wipers.
If it is raining heavily it may add to the fear. This may end up making the child anxious about a rainy day, and thunder and lightening.
In such a scenario, going out on a cloudy day may have to be ruled out until the child gets used to it and understands what the wipers do. Educating the child on the function of wipers with a couple of rhymes is important. Letting the baby touch the wipers on a clear day may also work.
This one could be hilarious for parents, but not the baby. There are some babies who freak out on loud farts. The baby may appear suddenly startled or may jump out of fear after a loud farting sound. This may also happen in babies who are really colicky and may get startled by their own farts. They cry every time they pass gas loudly. The parent laughing at a scared baby will scare her even more. So resist the temptation to laugh when the baby gets scared, even though she may look adorable.
Instead bring the baby close to soothe her. This fear is not going to stay for long as the baby gets more used to louder noises. It's a part of their developmental process. Out of all their senses, hearing is most highly developed in a small baby. While most babies and toddlers love playing only in their diapers, a few may be averse to being undressed. There could be many reasons for such a fear. One reason could be room temperature. If it's cold the baby may not like to be without clothes even for a few moments.
In case the baby is undressed while they are sleeping they could wake up shocked. This may be difficult for the parent as the babies need to be changed often. This may make even potty training harder. But this is normal as every child has some fear eventually. They usually grow out of one fear and get another as they grow older.
This phase will also end and the child will soon get over their fear. However, it's a good idea to not force the child to undress, instead ask permission until he's comfortable. When the baby is scared of the mother then that is when she will refuse to nurse. The mother yelling the last time the baby was nursing is likely to have scared the baby and make her afraid of the mother. The nursing strike may be short-lived or it may continue for days. It depends on how scared the baby is.
Many mothers breastfeed to soothe or comfort the baby when they get hurt or upset, but when they shun breasts it may become difficult to soothe a scared baby. It's really trying for the mother when the baby refuses to nurse - it causes anxiety and panic for the mom. It's very important for mom to remain calm and be patient. Lots of skin to skin contact and offering to nurse frequently can slowly make the baby forget the yelling.
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